finitum non capax infiniti

i suppose the end of the year always comes with a bit of reflection. the close of this year also brings with it a bit of reflection on the entire decade. i’ve been thinking about not only this year and everything it has brought, but also the past ten years. it is truly amazing to look back at all the experiences that god has brought all of us through over the past ten years. many times i questioned what was going on in my life and wondered if god really did have a plan for my life. there were times when i was angry with god, confused with life, and just generally overwhelmed with everything that life was throwing at me. there were also times when i was totally excited about what god was doing in my life, happy with life, and at peace with where i was at in life. i guess those are the types of ‘up-and-downs’ that people always tell me about.

this past year as been very eventful for me. i graduated from one seminary and now am a student at another. i got married. i moved to a state that i always made fun of (and still do!). i went to fenway (always the highlight of the year…except this year, as i am obligated to say my wedding was more of a highlight!). but this year felt like a year where it was not only the events that happened that defined the year for me. this past year i feel as if i have matured in ways that i haven’t in the past. i suppose marriage will cause anyone to have to grow up quickly, but it hasn’t just been that. i feel as if i’ve come to understand myself in a way that i haven’t in the past. my shortcomings are all too clear to me now, whereas in the past i was blind to them. i know where i struggle in life and i know steps i need to take to either avoid or overcome those struggles. that has been a huge blessing in my life as i know it is the spirit working in my life to transform me into the man that god wants me to be.

i have also gone through somewhat of a spiritual revival in the past few months. my time at my former seminary was very tough. the first two years were amazing and i felt as if i grew by leaps and bounds not only intellectually, but also spiritually. the last two years were much different. while i continued to read and study and grow intellectually, the climate there completely stifled my spiritual growth. moving to on to a new seminary completely changed that. these past three months have been key in rebuilding the spiritual life that i loved, yet had grown stagnant. while i still have more doubt than faith and more questions than answers, i feel renewed to seek those answers and to strengthen the faith that i count so central to who i am as a person. i go to church and can actually worship god authentically now. it’s more exciting than anything else i could imagine.

well, now that the boring introspection and reflection is over, i wanted to list some of the highlights and/or events that i will always remember from the past year and the past decade.

this past year I was married to elizabeth ann hohl, who i love more than i could possibly put into the english, hebrew, aramaic, ugaritic, greek, or ethiopic language (or any other linguistic system for that matter!).

this past decade i attended three colleges and two seminaries.

this past year the nobel peace prize winner turned around and deployed 30,000 military troops to enter a country upon which we have not declared war.

this past decade god has brought me from a pot-smoking, agnostic phish-head to a seminary student.

this past year i have become the member of a new family, who i absolutely adore.

this past decade i switched from windows to mac and will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever look back.

this past year the evil empire struck again.

this past decade the red sox have won more world series than they had in the past 8 decades and did not lose a world series game.

this past year i have grown to have a deeper appreciation and love for my parents and family.

this past decade i lived in 5 different states.

i’m sure there is much, much more than could be said. i’d love to hear some of the your highlights from the past year or decade and how god has worked in your life.