It’s no secret that the greatest rivalry in the history of sports in America is between the Red Sox and the Yankees. Growing up in northeastern PA around a bunch of Yankees fans was not a walk in the park and my therapist and I are still working through the long term damage it caused. But lately my dearly beloved BoSox have been getting the best of the Yankees, much to my enjoyment.
This past year the city of Philadelphia broke their drought of championships and finally brought home a World Series trophy. Things, perhaps, would have been different had the BoSox been able to complete their comeback against the stupid Rays (are you a sea creature or a ray of sunshine? Make up your mind, Tampa!). If you ask any Phillies phan, more likely than not they will tell you that they were glad the Sox didn’t pull it off against the Rays. No one wants to play Beantown late in October, considering we have not lost a World Series game this century.
So what would you do if you were on the Phillies or Yankees and had full access to one of the key members of the Red Sox? It’s obvious: you’d try to injure him! Well, ladies and gentlemen, I submit that is exactly what happened to Kevin Youkilis, who had to leave the WBC because of an injured ankle. How did I come to such a conclusion? I submit to the record the following photograph taken after the USA came back to beat Puerto Rico.
As you can clearly see, Youky is fine and dandy and jumping for joy. Yet after the game his ankle is hurt. Hmmmm, who could the culprits be? Why would they do such a thing? Clearly the pictorial evidence points towards two members of top teams in the NL and AL that have conspired against the apple of the Royal Rooter’s eye. Shane Victorino and Derek Jeter are the culprits and they are caught red cleated in this photograph!! I’m calling for a boycott against the entire Phillies and Yankees organization that will result in their immediate suspension from Major League Baseball through the year 2139.
19 March 2009 at 12.26 pm
I thought I was the only one that picked this up!
19 March 2009 at 3.39 pm
Of course, Youk being Jewish and all, I think it’s obviously an example of anti-semitism.
Of course, if he really were Greek, it would have been his Achilles’ heel. 
(For the uninformed out there, Youkilis is not Greek, despite being called the Greek god of walks in “Moneyball”. He is of Romanian Jewish descent. Apparently his great-grandfather (or great-great, I don’t know) adopted a Greek name when he moved to Greece many years back in order to be less conspicuous.)
19 March 2009 at 4.07 pm
Jeter can do no wrong. He’s Paul O’Neil Jr. or Don Mattingly II if you ask me. Sorry about Youkilis, but Jeter is fearless and he got in his way. I hate the Phils, so maybe I’ll give you Victorino pushed Jeter.
19 March 2009 at 5.15 pm
Wow, Art, you really are an idiot.
I see Youk trying to elbow Jeter in the face and Jeter protecting himself. That’s what I see. I think this is Thursday, not Midrash Monday, so maybe you can work on reproducing the original meaning of this text.
19 March 2009 at 5.52 pm
They all look happy to me. I mean jeter is stupid and I obviously hate him. AND HE IS NOT CUTE. That’s what bothers me the most is that people think he’s so cute. Now the Cubs are gonna come in and take it ALL, HAHHAHA!
19 March 2009 at 8.46 pm
Art said:
“I’m calling for a boycott against the entire Phillies… organization that will result in their immediate suspension from Major League Baseball through the year 2139.”
You are obviously not of the elect!
That is all.
19 March 2009 at 9.00 pm
I’ll definitely join you in your boycott of the Phollies.
We all know the AL sucks, so boycotting whatever team is in the AL is just a given–it’s the tee ball league of MLB. What is the AL again?
19 March 2009 at 9.11 pm
Tanner said:
“I’ll definitely join you in your boycott of the Phollies.”
He is now dead to me…
(man this is phun
)
21 March 2009 at 6.01 pm
None of your American League (with the obvious example of the Flyin Hawaiin) can compare to the great Presbyterian ‘Big Puma’ Lance Berkman and my beloved (yet woeful) Disastros. Unsabermeterically informed are they.
21 March 2009 at 6.16 pm
That was intentionally a laundry list of non-sequitors, by the way. How much do you follow the NFL draft, i.e. the single great day of the year? I just noticed you were a big BC fan, which I never knew before. I will tell you what kid I am enthralled by from there. B.J. Raji. He can do it all: Nose or shaded nose in 4-3 or 3-4; 3 technique in a 4-3; as well as a 5 technique in a 3-4. If you saw him in the Sr. Bowl practices, his bull rush is absolutely superb. He will not make it past McDaniels and the Broncos at 12, and might go as high as 3 to the Chiefs, and your boy Scott Pioli (though they will more than likely take Aaron Curry, who has some of the best feet I have seen at OLB). I just wish he could fall to my Texans at 15, but that will never happen. Are you as big of a fan of Raji as I am?
29 March 2009 at 2.52 pm
ohhh I met a guy the other night who played minor league baseball with Youk! Weird! Also he said he met Jeter and he’s rude and over-rated and he does NOT like him (thats actually true)